Regaining the Essence of Self

“Scents and fragrances can plunge us into grief or ecstasy.  And yet and yet … they wake us up too, invite us to surrender entirely to the present, basking in the fragrance and the fragrances of now” Jon Kabat-Zinn

Smell is our primal sense and our first sense that we are aware of at birth.  I lost the ability to smell (and taste) for over 20 years of my adult life. My first conscious memory of smell was a shared one, that of smelling roses with my grandmother.  In hindsight I realise my loss of smell as an adult invoked within me the memory of a deep and profound loss that I had not grieved.

During the time of my loss of smell, I became more and more stressed and anxious and I sought help from the world of Doctors and Consultants and eventually found help from a wonderful and kind surgeon through Fifth Sense (a charity who support people who have lost their ability to smell and taste).  Through his kindness and compassion and support of my peers in transpersonal therapy, I then went on to become interested in mindfulness and meditation and have since regained my sense of smell (and taste).

“I battled for so long to trust that the future would bring joy with or without my sense of smell.”

Rachel Podger

I lost connection to others during this time, but in hindsight I realise that the person I was most out of touch with was myself. I battled for so long to trust that the future would bring joy with or without my sense of smell.  My sense of smell found me rather than I found it. I hadn’t lost my sense of smell I had lost the ability to find it.

To smell once again is truly wonderful and life altering. I will never again be able to smell my grandmother or others that have died and who were precious to me, but the memory of their smell lives on inside of me and help me to bask in the fragrance of now.

I regained more than a lost sense, I discovered the essence of my Self.

If you would like to discuss how mediation and mindfulness can help you discover your own self essence, contact me at any time.