Being with loneliness
“If loneliness is faced instead of forgotten, it can lead over to the creative acceptance of the fact of aloneness” - Edward F. Edinger
In my late teens I discovered that I could sit and meditate and with this I realised, if only briefly, that I could be with my loneliness. I found this to be a comfort but at that time in my life, it also left me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain as to how to be with my feelings that arose from meditating.
In hindsight, I have discovered through the practice of mindfulness and the insights of transpersonal psychotherapy, that I lacked the scaffolding and support that I needed to be with and contain my feelings that arose at this time of discovering meditation. If I had someone to speak to about what was arising for me, I feel I would have been better equipped to explore my loneliness and have been able to access my creativity and curiosity, rather than be consumed and immobilised by the negative forces of self-doubt and criticism. I believed that because I was the least artistic person amongst my peers, I lacked both imagination and skill.
“... through my work with dreams and visualisations within transpersonal psychotherapy, I have learnt that the unconscious and my loneliness is not to be feared.”
Rachel Podger
When I explore my internal world, I discover that I can now be creative within the feeling of emptiness and trust that when I stay with it, there is excitement and a vastness that I can be curious about and learn from. In particular, through my work with dreams and visualisations within transpersonal psychotherapy, I have learnt that the unconscious and my loneliness is not to be feared. In fact, it holds a wealth of information that unveils its mystery over time and in a way that I now find exciting and life-enhancing. I have learnt to appreciate the difference between loneliness and being alone and the vast difference between them. I realise that to feel alone is a privilege and that because I allowed myself to feel lonely, I have reached this treasured and beautiful place. Gifts lie in the most unexpected places.
“Powerful feelings, deep unspoken parts of ourselves arise, and our task in meditation is first to let them move through us, then to recognize them and allow them to sing their songs.” - Jack Kornfield