Finding my Heart
“When the heart is right “for” and “against” are forgotten.” - Chuang Tzu
I have experienced many symptoms during this time of perimenopause and menopause and although many of them have subsided considerably, I notice that they remerge at times when I want a situation to be other than it is. I wrote previously about how powerful I find it to connect to my breath as a means to come back to the present moment and would like to share today the stillness and space that this gives and allows me to access to my heart and feel at home within myself. I am then neither for nor against these symptoms that I re-experience and can be more curious about what has happened for me to feel like this.
I notice that it is often when I have allowed myself to be drawn out of myself and into something that I find uncomfortable. There is a rush to find meaning rather than to be with the situation as it is, however uncomfortable that may be. I lose the wisdom and self-compassion that I know helps me to connect to myself more deeply.
“I am then neither for nor against these symptoms that I re-experience and can be more curious about what has happened for me to feel like this.”
Rachel Podger
In relation to the menopause, I had many misconceived ideas about it and although it has by no means been plain sailing, the misconceptions have guided me into my heart and allowed me to search for a more congruent way to live my life today.
This is by no means an easy and straightforward time of my life and yet the challenges require me to find a way to trust myself and trust that there are still things that I would like to explore and experience, even though they may not initially appear to be as exciting as they once were! I italicise the word appear as it is a judgement on my part, I can be quick to put a right or a wrong or a like and dislike on something and then on reflection wish that I had given it a little more space and time to explore what it might be like to give it a go or to try something out.
The heart is a mysterious and beautiful thing, it has taught me that it holds many wonders and it is up to me to breathe into it and for it to allow me to see what is within.