Experiencing the moment
“Intelligence is the door to freedom and alert attention is the mother of intelligence” - Jon Kabat-Zinn
The rain came this morning and I noticed myself conflicted. On the one hand thankful for it and the other I became consumed by my thoughts of what it meant for me. In the briefest of moments, my attention went from the rain, to what it was like to stand still, listen and enjoy the sound and smell as it landed on the earth, to my reaction of what it meant to go for a wet walk with a dog. My habitual reaction to rain, as are all habits, is rooted in history and my preference is for sunshine rather than rain. So often, when I am caught in a negative cycle and down-hearted about a situation, I realise that I feel sad about past experiences.
“I realise that intelligence is so much more accessible when I am kind and loving towards myself, the door is open and I feel the freedom to be with all of my experiences.”
Rachel Podger
Half-way into my walk I realised that I was caught in my thoughts and that I felt stressed by this. I was consumed in the energy and narrative of negative past experiences and memories of muddy boots, wet coats and general mess that ensued from these walks. The moment that I caught myself and became aware of where I had gone with these thoughts, I felt myself take an outbreath of relief and with that freed myself to be in the moment and noticed the feel of the rain on me. I was able to be with my response to the feel of the rain, aware of the totality of my experience rather than tightened and reactive to my past experiences, (not all of which were negative but forgotten in the moment of overload). As I write this, I feel a sense of freedom and space within me that allows me to come back to my initial response of the joy of rain on the garden, plants and mother earth. I realise that intelligence is so much more accessible when I am kind and loving towards myself, the door is open and I feel the freedom to be with all of my experiences. My connection with the rain has cleared the pollution of my mind and brought me back to a sense of rejuvenation and hope.