Inner Conflict

The later sunrise and earlier sunset at this time of year mean that I find myself engaged in an inner conflict around the internal pressure I put myself under to make the most of time and daylight. One voice says, "there are fewer hours in the day, so you must make the most of them, get outside, and do everything you want to." The other voice says, "it is just as important to be", and reminds me that there is always tomorrow if I don’t do as much today.

“I realise that tolerance of my inner conflict and internal pressure helps me feel freer, and I remember the “light” and “heavy-hearted” expressions.”

Rachel Podger

These shoulds and musts fuel the pressure that builds up and causes me to feel off-balance and exhausted. The antidote to this exhaustion is focusing on my breath, which brings me back into my heart and reignites joy, trust, and self-compassion that light the way in the darker mornings and evenings. It also reminds me to be gentle and kind towards myself. I will find my way through the darkness even if I don’t always complete what my mind tells me I must and should do.I realise that tolerance of my inner conflict and internal pressure helps me feel freer, and I remember the “light” and “heavy-hearted” expressions. As I feel them both, I find deeper meaning. The days are shorter, yet the fire of hope will help me be more light-hearted about how I relate to my daily tasks. With this, I return to my breath, and all is well.